Have you sat and thought about your life and came to the conclusion that you were made to do something entirely different than what you’re currently doing? Or have you ever had this ever-present feeling that you’re in some type of “human incubator or glass box” that you can’t quite break out of? Lately I’ve been experiencing both of those feelings, and I must admit it’s a very frustrating place to be! It sort of like having to go to the restroom really really bad only to have to wait outside of the door because it’s currently being occupied. Or maybe what I’ve seen/heard of mothers in the delivery room go through: “I know you’re ready to push but we have to wait on the doctor so just hold on until we tell you to push”. I can’t imagine carrying something in me for 9+ months and then finally get to the place where I’m to birth that which I’ve nurtured and patiently anticipated, but then I’m to hold on just a little longer until the “Doctor” arrives!
I can relate on some level because for 31 years I’ve carried and nurtured a dream; a dream that has brought me joy and pain, happiness and disappointment, fear and boldness, triumph and heartbreak, and now I’ve reached the “9th month” and I’m ready to birth this dream but I can’t quite yet. I’m ready to share this dream with the world as well as have my private moments in delight watching this dream grow and take on life itself, but my gratification has been deferred because I’ve been told that the “doctor” isn’t quite ready for me to “push”. Like the distraught and frustrated mother-to-be who lies on the table in agony, I sit…and wait.
I wait in excitement because I know, in my heart, that when this dream is shared with the world it will be a catalyst of energy that spurs people to greatness. I wait in fear because I don’t know if, once revealed, people may mock what I’ve labored over for years, treating it as a dismal failure in their eyes. I wait anxiously because I look at the clock and notice how time is not waiting on this hope to make it’s way into reality. So again I wait. How long? Who knows? But until then I’ll continue putting the final touches on this dream, and when the time comes…I will be ready!
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